Ko Samui and Ko Tao, Thailand - Part 2

On Saturday Megan went on a snorkeling trip (Tim wasn't keen - lazy!) which went out to Ko Tao, another small island near Ko Samui. Snorkeling off the boat at Ko Tao was unreal - it was as close to Finding Nemo that Megan had ever seen. There were iridescent rainbow coloured fish, dragon fish with big long whiskers and little electric blue fish...Megan was quite jealous of all the Japanese people and their underwater cameras.

Getting back to Ko Samui in a thunderstorm was one of those experiences that Asia throws up now and again - overcrowded boat, rolling seas and slow to pass out the sick bags. We think the locals find such things hilarious. Luckily Megs got on to the boat fairly quickly and saved a seat with a towel before a quick trip to the toilet. On her return, she found some English couple eyeing her seat up. When she reclaimed it the girl said "its a f*cking joke, you can't f*cking save seats on a boat." Who knew? Awesome - can't wait to get to the land of Poms!

Tim decided to give the snorkeling a miss and hang out at Ko Samui. After a bit of a sleep in, Tim checked out the shops along Chaweng Beach and got a combo from McDonald's (the upsize of the coke and chips was absolutely enormous - for an extra 50 cents NZ you can get your chips delivered to your table on a dump truck and drink your coke from a trough). The combo cost about $NZ5 in total. Then it was time to laze on the beach again.

Tim got a couple of hours of really hot sunshine before another black storm cloud rolled in and dropped about a month's rain on the island in six minutes. Once Megan returned from the snorkeling trip, we played some pool and got some kai at our local pub across the road and watched the English premiership (perhaps) be decided by two stunning comebacks. Exciting times if you're a fan of the beautiful game, if you're not, you're probably sick of us talking about it.

Sunday started full of hope, but turned out to be about as useful as our toilet was a couple of days back. Having pre-paid for a return ferry to Ko Phan-Ngan, the actual ticket debacle that unfolded was astounding. There is just no logic or common sense in a lot of the tours etc around here. We bought and paid for our return tickets in a travel agent. We hopped on the bus at our hotel and the woman on the bus took our receipt of payment and gave us each one ticket. We asked how we get back and she told us our ticket was good for both ways, then she disappeared.

The guys at the ferry terminal tried to take our tickets and told us we would have to pay for the return leg, but we just snatched them back and got on the boat, which seemed to be fine. Then in Ko Phan-Ngan we had to exchange the tickets we used to get there for new tickets to get back. But then when we got back to Ko Samui, it was a game of "guess who wants to take you back to your hotel?" And it seemed we were no good at the game. Until we got stroppy and then got a bus to take just the two of us back to our hotel, special treatment for the crazy Kiwis who were probably about to snap and kill a few Thais.

That is partly because our day trip to Ko Phan-Ngan was a dog-ball (for those who don't know this term, it was complete and utter arse). A few minutes after we arrived it started to rain and didn't stop until we were back on the ferry to Ko Samui. Plus there were 6 billion flies for every person, and loads of tiny frogs jumping all over the road and getting squashed by pedestrians, which was kinda gross. We had decided to visit Ko Phan-Ngan for its beautiful beaches, but they were crap because it was raining. Oh well, win some lose some. At least we have finally gotten some use out of the Kathmandu poncho bought in NZ - love the 50% sale.

Monday, our final day in the Kingdom of Thailand, was rather uneventful. Although the rain had stopped, we decided not to go on a jetski as the water was still quite choppy. We did wander round the shops of Chaweng Beach, however, and we picked up a few bargains: Megan got some jandals for $6 and Tim (even though he doesn't smoke) bought an Arsenal cigarette holder and lighter in one for around $9. It fits his credit cards/ID cards etc in perfectly and also makes for hours of fun.

Highlights of our Asian trip: boat trip to Halong Bay, seeing the body of Ho Chi Minh in his mausoleum, our time in Hoi An (especially Megan's bargains at the tailors), Nha Trang (jet ski, beach and dodgem cars), visiting and crawling through the Cu Chi tunnels, Tim firing an AK-47, wandering around Ho Chi Minh City, the beach in Ko Samui (when the weather was good) and Megan's snorkeling trip around the islands.






Ko Tao
snorkel
trip











Ko Tao














Ko Phan-
Ngan












Rather
gloomy...











Flying
lamps on
Ko Samui
beach

Ko Samui, Thailand - Part 1

On Tuesday morning we left Ho Chi Minh and flew to Bangkok and then on to Ko Samui. We were fortunate enough to get moved to an earlier flight to Ko Samui, which meant that we didn't have to wait very long in Bangkok. Ko Samui was just as hot as Ho Chi Minh but slightly less humid. We are staying in the hotel that we stayed in three years ago when we were here.

On Tuesday afternoon we went and checked out the beach and had a couple of drinks and then wandered the streets looking for somewhere for dinner. An Indian man jumped out at us trying to persuade us into his Indian restaurant. We weren't really that keen for Indian but when he discovered where we were from and told us that he had "Kiwis and Sri Lanka" live World Cup semi final, we were sold. So in we went. After dinner we went to an Irish pub which also had the cricket on TV. Sadly the Black Caps got spanked. Oh well.

Wednesday was pretty uneventful. We lazed on the beach most of the day, occasionally floating on lilos in the water when we got too hot, and eating the odd pineapple. In the evening we bought a few (few too many) Singha beers from the supermarket and sat on our porch drinking beer. The dehydration we were experiencing from sitting in the sun all day, coupled with the 5 per cent alcohol and the speed we were throwing them back culminated in us -mainly Tim - getting absolutely smashed. We met up with a couple of Aussie guys from a few doors down and had drinks (what better way to commemorate Anzac Day) with them and then went out for dinner with them and watched Aussie embarass Sth Africa in the cricket. Awesome. Sadly, we were both in bed by 10pm, average effort.

Some of you may remember that we met Superporn (flight attendant) and Poo (waitress) on our last trip. We have yet to see Poo, but we can reveal that Superporn has been replaced by a male flight attendant with the equally stunning name of Am Porn. It's the little things that make Thailand the place it is.

The last few days have been rather lazy days. We have shocking news for you...actually there is some good news, some bad news, some more bad news and some shocking news. The good news is that we are both safe and well and not even sick yet (miracle). The bad news is that it pissed down here today, tropical storms, so bad that we lost power for about 3 hours. Madness. The other bad news is that our toilet shat itself (ironic) so we had to change rooms at our hotel. One minute it was fine, next minute it was pissing water skyward out of the cistern. Danger.

The shocking news, which is what you were all waiting for, is that Tim has shaved the mo off. He is now clean shaven. At least he was yesterday afternoon. He is now stubbly again. It got itchy and annoying and he realised that it would leave him with a pasty white mark around his mouth, which would not be a good look for job interviews in London. The funny thing was that we were rooming across from a German guy called Herbert (before our toilet crapped itself) and he didn't recognise Tim after he shaved...he thought Tim was 10 years younger. Brilliant.

Thursday was another lazy day. It involved lying on the beach and paddling in the ocean on a lilo, mixed with the odd eating of a pineapple. Tough stuff. In the evening, we had another few beers, played some pool in the bar across the road and had an early-ish night. At least early-ish compared to the English girls that stumbled in to the room next to us at 6.30am.

Friday was another lazy one (theme developing). We slept in and then got some brunch before walking the 30-metre journey to the beach. It was really hot for a while, but then the weather packed in and bucketed down for a couple of hours in the afternoon, which sent us back to the pool tables at our local bar. We also got chatting to a Kiwi couple from our resort. The girl was from Queenstown, so she was most upset when we informed her of Nick Evans' inability to convert from the sideline to beat the Hurricanes in the final minute (the Highlanders lost 21-22).

Then we went and sunk a few curries for dinner (you think we're joking, but Iwe're not...Tim actually ate two curries himself), which was great. Hopefully the weather holds up tomorrow...or at least the toilet does...we shall see.






Lovely
beach -
Ko Samui











Ditto













Jet skis
in Ko
Samui












The
rain













Guy carrying
five sacks on
his shoulders -
entertainment

Ho Chi Minh, Vietnam

We arrived safely in Ho Chi Minh City (aka Saigon) around 2pm on Saturday, and our initial thoughts were very positive. We liked Ho Chi Minh better than Hanoi. It seemed a lot cleaner.

After checking into Madame Cuc's Hotel, which was a bit of a let-down, we wandered the streets and stumbled across a burger place a lot like McDonald's, called Lotteria's or something equally random. We each got a cheeseburger combo for around $NZ3. Oh by the way, we noticed NZ got spanked by Aussie in the cricket, but we are knowledgeable enough to note that the game had little meaning and Bond was rested. We'll reserve judgment for next Saturday...grand final (and in the meantime pray that the South Africans cause a semi-final upset).

On the advice of our French friend, Crystal, we found a good pub ("Allez Boo Cafe") to watch Tottenham v Arsenal live and sink a few lagers. Unfortunately the soccer was a little upsetting, after Arsenal led Tottenham 2-1 at White Hart Lane and conceded a goal deep into stoppage time to draw 2-2. Bernie, that's like Southland leading Canterbury at Jade Stadium 21-14 and conceding a 95m try after 83 minutes. You know my pain.

Sadly our digital camera battery died halfway to Saigon. We have purchased a battery charger and are in the process of charging the battery, so more pics (including more of Merv) to follow.

On Sunday we went on a half-day tour of the Cu Chi Tunnels. It was an amazing experience and one of our favourites so far. Contrary to popular belief, most of the tour was spent outside the tunnels (thankfully - see below) as we walked around the Cu Chi area. In brief, Cu Chi is a strategically positioned location about 50km from Ho Chi Minh where the Americans built bases, but which the Viet Cong attempted to control by way of an elaborate tunnel system.

It is difficult to convey how ingenious the whole set up was, between the underground hospitals, kitchens (fully equipped with 2km long shoots for the smoke/steam from cooking to pass through so that if the Americans saw smoke coming from underground and bombed the spot, the tunnels, miles away, were still quite safe) and air vents underground, through to the escape routes into the Saigon River (complete with bamboo "snorkels") for when the Americans were bombing.

The most gruesome part of the experience was seeing the booby traps dug by the Viet Cong and fashioned out of a flimsy bamboo cover hiding all kinds of nasty metal and sharpened bamboo spikes. It wasn't difficult to imagine the horrific injuries this must have caused some unfortunate American soldiers...especially since scenes of impalement had been painted on a wall for us - complete with blood, and mildly surprised faces.

Next up was the much anticipated AK-47 firing range (these are the weapon of choice in Afghanistan at present). Tim made the most of his 10 bullets (see Tim pictured below firing an AK-47!!!). Megan wasn't really interested.

Most people fired 10-20 bullets (at USD1.30 each) but some delightful Poms in our group bought up a storm, well over 150 bullets (and then charmingly boasted that they had just spent a Vietnamese person's annual income). Anyway, the shots were incredibly loud and 150 of them later, we can only hope they now have burst ear drums. Incidentally, the force that comes from firing an AK-47 is enormous and even rocked Tim back on his heels. So the scenes from Rambo and the like, where they fire two semi-automatics at once, one in each hand, are highly unrealistic!

Then came the tunnels! Very, very small and dark (pitch black at some points) and HOT - it was 35 degrees, and coupled with the clay and being 5m underground made it feel like an oven. We didn't last too long - we crawled a short way along the tunnels and then escaped out of the first exit. Judging by the sweat pouring off the people who went the whole way through, it was probably a good move.

On Monday we visited a lovely palace type thing with fancy rooms and ornaments, where Helen Clark had recently visited! We then carried on to the War Remnants Museum, which involved a rather disturbing but compulsory look at the atrocities of the Vietnam War. Our final stop was a return trip to the markets, where Megan invested in a French soccer shirt, as we have just booked tickets to see France v Ukraine (Euro 2008 qualifier) at the Stade de France in Paris on the 2nd of June. Exciting stuff!

Megs and
a Vietnam-
ese girl











Bear at
the burger
place

Megs -
Cu Chi
Tunnels











Tim -
Cu Chi
Tunnels

Tim
firing an
AK-47!










Megs and
a tank

Heli-
copter

A fancy
palace...

...with a
gambling
room!

Dalat, Vietnam

On Friday we hired a car and visited a few tourist sites around Dalat. It would seem that the things around Dalat are a lot more interesting than Dalat itself. We went to Chicken Village, where they have an enormous concrete chicken statue... Aside from some monkeys in the surrounding trees, they don't really have anything else, although we were forced into visiting the shop next to the chicken statue, where they make things out of silk...we ended up buying a scarf and a little bag thing.

Next stop was the Dintara Falls (there are loads of waterfalls around Dalat). Very impressive and probably worth the very steep descent and subsequent climb after viewing.

We then visited the Tiger Falls, which got their name courtesy of a "ferocious tiger" that allegedly used to live in the area. They now have statues of a large tiger and of the hunter that apparently killed the aforementioned ferocious tiger nearby. So we did the tourist thing and got photos next to the statues.

In the afternoon we visited a summer palace of a former emperor, which was a combination of interesting and tacky. Once night fell we hit the Saigon Nite Bar (even though we were in Dalat and not Saigon) and played pool in Mr Dung's trendy pub. We got talking to a few French students who were over from France studying in Saigon, and were having a weekend on the booze in Dalat. Crystal, Florent and Jean Baptiste were great value, and we outdid ourselves by getting all three to sing us the French national anthem, "Marchons". Brilliant.

Saturday morning was an early start. We had missed out on a flight from Dalat to Saigon, so we splashed out and hired a private car to drive us the 308km distance. Much more comfortable than a bus, and about the same cost as flying.






Giant
concrete
chicken











Tim by
the
water-
fall










Megan
the
tiger

Nha Trang to Dalat, Vietnam

On Thursday morning we got a"bus" from Nha Trang to the Vietnam highlands city of Dalat. The woman at the travel agent ripped us off good and proper. We were told that our bus would be a 45 seater like the fine specimen parked up outside, so we booked it. What we actually got was 26 people and their luggage piled into a slightly larger than normal minivan (the picture to the right shows how impressed "Merv" was with it all).

We discovered that Vietnamese people have a very different idea of personal space than we do: they like to rub up against you, rest their bare feet on your legs (Steph would have died), even fall asleep on you. Nothing an elbow in the ribs doesn't fix though. Thankfully there were no live chickens on board, but not far off it.

Then again, we should be grateful we are still alive. Not only did we nearly have a head-on collision going up the narrow, windy hill roads to Dalat, and almost slip off the side of the cliff-face a couple of times, but our thoughtful tour guide sparked up a cigarette while pumping petrol into our minivan (see photo). Even if we had wanted to bolt out of the van, we couldn't. The van was so full that they had folded extra seats out where the aisle once was and we were trapped in our seats near the back. We had to watch in disbelief while he casually puffed away and flicked ash onto the wet forecourt (which we hope was water and not petrol) and hope for the best.

We have arrived in Dalat and had a little look around...unimpressive so far, although our hotel is very nice. Apparently Dalat was once known as "le petit Paris", aka the Paris of the Orient. We have visited the "mini Eiffel Tower" and it looks a lot like the old radio transmitter tower up Mt Cargill in Dunedin...

Tim very
un-
impressed










Smoking
by the
petrol
pump













Le petit
Paris

Nha Trang, Vietnam

Nha Trang

We left Hoi An and travelled south to Nha Trang on Saturday. We had hoped to fly from Danang (just outside Hoi An) directly to Nha Trang, but we discovered that all of those flights for the next week or more were booked. Our other options were a 9-hour train ride or an 11-hour bus ride to Nha Trang. So we flew from Danang to Ho Chi Minh City and then Ho Chi Minh back up to Nha Trang. It was a bit more expensive, but saved us a lot of travelling time and was a lot more comfortable!

Our arrival in Nha Trang wasn't the best, as we were harassed by first a taxi driver and then two hotel owners who just wouldn't take no for an answer. They eventually drove us away from their hotels with their nagging. We are now staying in a nice hotel called the Rainbow Hotel, right in the centre of Nha Trang. It even has free internet, which is a bonus, given how long it takes us to write these blogs.

On Saturday night we had a few drinks and watched Arsenal seal a top 4 spot in the premiership with a 2-1 win over Bolton which made us feel better about Nha Trang in general. We also had a drink and played some pool at a bar called Crazy Kim's, which is a bar set up by a Canadian woman who is raising money to stop child sex abuse in the area. It's a great idea and has a cute little school at the back where street kids are taught English and Vietnamese - the walls were covered in their stories which were pretty sweet.

Sunday started slowly and didn't get much quicker, as we headed to the beach after brunch and spent most of the day there. We've included some photos to make you jealous - the beach really is beautiful and the water is wonderful. Tim hasn't been for a swim yet though! However, we're thinking of hiring a jet ski today and given our previous records on jet skis, will probably land in the water more than once.

Nha Trang is Vietnam's big beach resort and while it is not anywhere near the scale of Phuket in Thailand, it still has a bit of a nightlife going on. We decided to join the action last night and went on a "pub crawl" starting at about 4:30pm. We made it to 8 places before we chucked it in, all that sitting on the beach and cocktails of questionable strength got to us in the end. However, the excitement of the night was that Tim wrestled a crocodile! It was at least 7m long and weighed close to a tonne, the locals said they'd never seen anything like it when Tim jumped on it Steve Erwin-style. Photo below as proof.

One of the pubs we went to is a place called Blue Gecko where a waitress sidled up to Tim and complimented him on his English (!) and asked if Megan was his girlfriend. We thought she was putting in some (unsubtle) moves on Tim but the next thing out of her mouth was "she is very pretty, I like her face!". It was all very amusing, especially when she got up on a bar stool next to us (she was so small she had to kind of climb it like a tree) and lent against Megan's arm for a while. We think she just wanted to be friends.

Update on the beard vs handlebars mo...thanks for your votes, the fans have spoken and the consensus is to keep the beard for a few more days and then do the Merv Hughes...exciting times.

Our time in Nha Trang has been largely uneventful. It has involved a lot of us sitting on the beach fending off beach vendors (who incidentally, have no imagination or entrepreneurialism whatsoever - there are about 100 beach vendors wandering around at any one time, but they only sell one of three different things: books, cigarettes and massive poppadom-type things. Honestly people, use your heads, we want water, pineapple and sunscreen). Unfortunately, despite our best sun smart efforts, we have each encountered a little bit of sunburn...nothing serious though.

On Tuesday morning we got up early (about 9am) and hired a jetski down at the beach. Jetskis are expensive, but worth every cent. It was around $30 NZ for 15 minutes, but extremely awesome. We nearly lost Megan off the back a few times, but we're both still in one piece! Then we went and hung out at a "brew house" called the Louisiane Bar right by the beach for most of the afternoon. This place is awesome. They have a big swimming pool that customers can use, and they brew their own beer (they do a fantastic Belgian style wheat beer that is almost as good as Hoegaarden, but about $1.90 a handle (we just know Dave is jealous right now).

Then we hired some pushbikes and braved it riding through the city, up to the Nha Trang Cathedral, which was pretty cool, a French-Gothic style cathedral on a hill, but ruined a little by the Neon light outline around the outside of the big crucifix above the alter...very tacky.

On Tuesday night we bar-hopped again (it never gets old) and managed to find the tallest Vietnamese woman we have seen yet. We couldn't let the opportunity pass and managed to arrange a photograph of her standing next to Tim...note she was in heels as well (you see why the whole "Giant man" thing came about)!!!

Wednesday was another slow, relaxing day spent on the beach chairs at Nha Trang beach. The highlights of the day were Tim's farewell to the beard after 24 days of glory (the beard has been replaced by an equally stunning Merv Hughes handlebars moustache), and our visit to the local carnival after dinner. While there were hardly any people at this carnival, we still had a great time trying out the "flying wheel" (we were strapped into into little aeroplanes that spun around like a carousel but also went up and down while they spun - brilliant), the ferris wheel and our personal favourite the dodgem cars. Each of these rides cost us a small fortune of 50 cents each. Cheap laughs, especially as Tim's knees were up around his ears in the dodgem cars.






Pool














Tim on
the beach












Nha Trang
beach












Megs on
the beach












Wrestling
the croc












Tim and
tiny
waitress

















Before












After

Hoi An, Vietnam

Hoi An

On Tuesday morning we took a train from Hue further south to Danang and then got a taxi from Danang across to Hoi An. Hoi An is the tailoring capital of Vietnam which might be why there are loads more tourists here than in other parts of Vietnam.

Tim is still providing the locals with endless entertainment. When we got the train from Hue to Danang, we were the only non-Vietnamese people on our carriage, and as such, Megan was comfortably the second tallest on the carriage. The locals found it fascinating that Tim (aka Giant Man) could stow his pack on the rails above the seat without standing on a box! But then again, the pack was twice the size of most of the people.

We took it easy on Tuesday, strolling through the markets looking for bargains and trying to improve our pool skills over a beer, we are still well out of practice!!! Megan made a special new friend in the markets, a crazy old woman who tried to entice us down some dark alley to her tailor shop...for the next hour she kept magically re-appearing on some new street corner just when we thought we had lost her. She popped up again the following day (Wednesday) - we think she might have kind of magical powers. Apperation, for the HP fans.

Meanwhile a man in another shop told Tim he was very handsome and that he must be intelligent because men with beards are intelligent, he then listed off Fidel Castro, Lenin and Ho Chi Minh as proof...esteemed company indeed!

On Wednesday we went our separate ways as Megan wanted to line up some work suits and shirts. After being measured from literally every angle, there is a dark grey suit and a couple of shirts in the pipeline. Oh, and two pairs of silk pyjamas and a pair of shoes (see photo of snazzy red shoes below). Spending money is all too easy here...

We are staying in a beautiful hotel which had a really nice pool. We think will be spending most of tomorrow there (ie staying out of the shops). We have also found a really, really good restaurant which we will be going back to tonight, along with a group of 10 Australians who loved it as much as we did! That's all for now, keep up with the comments and emails, they are very amusing!

On Tuesday night Tim got harassed by a six year old who was trying to sell us useful items such as wooden whistles in the shape of animals. After he told her he was neither a referee nor a traffic cop (ie did not need the whistle) she got all pitiful and told him she needed the money from the whistles to eat. When we asked where her watch came from, she called Tim a furry monkey man!! Still, at least we haven't been called a "happy Buddha" as a bald, rotund Englishman walking in front of us got named by some women sitting on the street. That is the joy of Vietnam really, no one seems to get offended by anything. People regularly ask us if we are married and tell us we are "beautiful couple"!

Wednesday involved sitting by the pool, taking a leisurely bike ride to the beach and drinking $2 cocktails. Megan has also invested in another pair of shoes and another suit, bringing the running total to 2 suits (each three pieces), 2 shirts, 2 pairs of shoes and 2 pairs of pyjamas for about $200 give or take. I'd work it out more accurately but the cocktails are taking over...

The other humorous moment of the day occurred out at the beach. We were ushered into a bike parking lot and charged around 5,000 dong (which is about 50 cents NZ...Colin loves that shit). When we returned after a stroll on the beach and a cold drink, we found a large British man yelling in the street, screaming for justice, saying that the parking lot attendants were stealing our money...we suppose he had a point, as the parking lot attendants made it seem as though it was compulsory to park your bikes in their shed and pay the fee, although this was not the case. However, at the end of the day, the 50 cent fee for looking after the bikes for 2 hours seemed OK to us...and we ended up getting a few minutes free entertainment in the form of a large Pommy guy going off in the middle of the street and getting spoken to by Vietnamese police...

Beard update: as at Day 18 the beard is looking well formed, some silver hairs coming through, although, as we have been well informed, that is a sign of intelligence and handsomeness. It is with much difficulty that we bring you this blog, under the influence of many big bottles of Tiger beer and cocktails (which are very, very cheap...almost too cheap). Tim is thinking of losing the beard and entering the Kingdom of Thailand with a Merv Hughes handlebars moustache...please place your votes whether he should do this or keep the entire beard.

Pool at
hotel in
Hoi An











Vietnam-
ese girls in
traditional
robes










Tim at
the beach













The
beard
















Relaxing
in Hoi An















Large
cold
Tiger














Tailor
made
red shoes











Art
shop












Hoi
An















Gecko