The travels of Tim and Megan: Port El Kantaoui, Tunisia

Sunday

On arrival in Port El Kantaoui, Tim went straight to bed and slept for pretty much 15 hours. Megan had a little rest and then went to check out the hotel with the girls. We were staying at the Marhaba Palace Hotel, a massive hotel situated right on the beach. The hotel was very impressive - aside from being right on the beach, it had a massive outdoor swimming pool, an indoor heated swimming pool, a spa/health centre complex, tennis court, mini golf, three restaurants, three bars, a shop and various other fun things, like a pool table, air hockey table, etc.

We had got a pretty good deal at the hotel on a half-board basis (breakfast and dinner included). These sorts of hotels are extremely popular with the English in particular, but also central Europeans. Many English people will go to these types of hotels in north Africa or hot countries in Europe on a package deal and barely leave the hotel. Fair play to them, as the hotels really do offer something for everyone and there is plenty to keep you amused. For us, this was the relaxing part of out trip. We were all looking forward to some sunshine, lying on the beach or beside the hotel pool.

Port El Kantaoui is an interesting place. It is a purpose-built tourist resort town around 10km north of Sousse on the east coast of central Tunisia. With the help of Kuwaiti investment, a stretch of empty coast has been transformed into a vast pleasure complex based around a picturesque marina, which now draws luxury yachts from all over the world. The town also has two golf courses. It opened in 1979 and has become Tunisia's most successful tourist centre.

Obviously, it is extremely touristy and "fake" in some ways, but if you go there knowing that it is a purpose-built tourist town aimed at Westerners, and not in any way authentic Tunisia, then it is hard to be disappointed. As they like to say over here, it does what it says on the tin.

After exploring the hotel complex with the girls, Megan came back to the room for a rest. The girls had a buffet dinner in the hotel restaurant and were harrassed by the waiters! It's bad enough to be hassled by the guys working in the markets and down in the marina, but the hotel staff??? Seriously! Three of the waiters chatted them up while they tried to eat their dinner and invited them to the Irish pub across the road from our hotel later that evening for some "chitty chatty". Despite being annoying, the cheesy lines and general siftiness/desperation of the Tunisian men did provide us with a lot of laughs during our trip.

Monday

On Monday morning Megan and Tim were feeling far better and went down to the breakfast buffet early. Breakfast was pretty good - as well as all the usual stuff, they had freshly squeezed orange juice, omelets, crepes and eggs cooked how you like them. After breakfast, Megan gave Tim the grand tour of the hotel and then we grabbed our togs and towel and sat outside by the pool.

While it was quite sunny in the morning, there was a cool wind, which meant that it was not ideal sunbathing conditions. After a while we retreated indoors to the heated swimming pool. We had a quick dip and the water was nice, then sat on the sun loungers by the pool - no sun, but a lot warmer than outside! The girls joined us after a while to sit by the pool.

Around lunchtime, we all walked into the centre of Port El Kantaoui to have a look around. The marina was really pretty and there were dozens of boats moored in there, including a massive pirate ship! It was also a little sheltered from the wind, which made it a lot warmer down there. We walked around the marina and checked out the shops - and surprise, surprise, we were harrassed by the shopkeepers!

The men were a lot more offensive and sifty than those in Tunis. The girls were all targeted with various comments, but their favourite line that we kept hearing was 'what a lucky man Tim was for having four wives' and that 'he must be a strong man'. Slightly humorous the first time, but after about 15 times in a day, seriously annoying. One guy was obviously so taken with Neena that he was almost speechless. All he could manage was a thumbs up, a cheesy grin and the words "Believe me!". Needless to say, this became a popular line amongst our group for the remainder of the holiday.

We stopped at one of the cafes on the marina and had a snack and a drink. It was quite nice sitting in the sun once the wind had died down. Lauren managed to smash two glasses as we were leaving - very nice. Neena had switched to holiday mode and was having trouble constructing full sentences - her finest example was walking through the centre of Port El Kantaoui and saying "I really like the pretty colours on the ground...what do you call them, flowers?!"

Megan, Tim and Neena went back to the hotel to sit by the outdoor pool (it was much warmer by mid-afternoon), while Lauren and Kristen continued to explore the centre of town. More sifty comments followed, particularly for Lauren and Kristen, as there was just two of them now and they had no guy with them. The worst was one short, greasy little guy who threw away all subtlety and called out to them in the street, asking if they wanted to have sex with him. Seriously!

In the evening we went across the road from the hotel to the Irish pub to play some pool and have a couple of drinks, which was quite fun. Then we had our buffet dinner at the hotel. Megan and Tim had a fairly early night, as we were still feeling the effects of the food poisoning.

Tuesday

Sadly Tuesday started very cloudy, which is not ideal for sunbathing. So after breakfast, we decided to get a cab 10km down the road to Sousse. Sousse is Tunisia's third city, after Tunis and Sfax. It is also on the east coast of Tunisia and is a popular tourist destination, as it has a long stretch of sandy beaches along the coastline. Its population is around 180,000. We went largely to visit the Sousse Medina to see if it was as good as the Tunis Medina.

We are not sure if the overcast day had an impact, or if we were just not in a very positive frame of mind, or if perhaps Sousse is actually a dump, but whatever it was, we were not overly impressed. We wandered around the Medina checking out the souqs for about an hour, but the souqs and shops were pretty average and the men in the Medina were every bit as offensive as those in Port El Kantaoui. One greasy little man in a shop, on hearing that we were from New Zealand, announced that he wants to go to New Zealand to "try out all the ladies". Good luck with that!

There was another dodgy man who claimed he could lead us to the best souqs and the Great Mosque. He started leading us down a very deserted alleyway and before long he was grabbing Lauren by the arm and trying to hold her hand. Tim told him that holding hands was not necessary and that we could find our own way to the souqs, to which the man replied that Tim was his brother and Lauren was his sister and that he was allowed to touch us because we are family. Tim told him he was not our brother and to stop touching us and the man got all aggro and told Tim he was a mean man and a "shit". Oh sorry for raining on your sifty parade, little greasy dude.

We even tried to walk along the waterfront, but that was pretty crap too, so we agreed to abort our mission and head back to Port El Kantaoui. We had lunch down by the marina again. It was OK, but certainly nothing special. Lauren, who seemed to be having a poor run of luck, ordered a fruit platter. When it eventually turned up, it was a whole orange (unpeeled), a whole apple with bruises all over it and some mouldy strawberries. Unsurprisingly, she told them it was rubbish and sent it back.

We looked around the shops a bit more and bought a hand painted bowl (there were lots of decorated bowls and plates for sale in Tunisia!). In the evening we returned to the Irish bar near our hotel and played some more pool (Megs was on fire and won four games in a row) and had some drinks and dinner there before the football started.

It was the second leg of the Champions League quarter-final between Barcelona (the greatest team on the planet) and Arsenal. Arsenal had somehow hung in there in the first leg and came storming back to snatch a 2-2 draw in London. With injuries mounting, we all knew anything but a convincing Barcelona win would be a miracle. But when Nicklas Bendtner scored the opening goal for Arsenal after about 15 minutes, the packed pub erupted and we wondered if maybe there could be a massive upset on the cards. We were not left wondering for long, as Lionel Messi (the greatest player on the planet) replied with the first of his four goals of the night just a minute after the opening goal. Messi was sublime and Arsenal were well beaten 4-1 (a score that Tim successfully predicted before kick-off).

Back at the hotel, we were treated to a karaoke night in the main hotel bar. None of us were keen to grab the microphone, but it provided some entertainment to round off the night.

Wednesday

After a big sleep in, we grabbed some breakfast (including really yum omelets) and then we sat by the outdoor pool. Neena, Kristen and Lauren were leaving at 11.30am to head back to London. It was not super hot, but there were patches of sunshine in the morning, so we lay by the pool and enjoyed it while we could.

After the girls left, we walked into the town centre and bought a few things at the shops, including supplies for our two-day desert safari trip (Thursday and Friday). In the afternoon we went to the spa complex at the hotel, where we had a dip in the swimming pool and spa pool and also sat in the sauna for a while. There were not many people there and it was very relaxing.

After our spa, we packed our bags for the desert safari trip and then went for a drink in the main hotel bar. There was a man playing the grand piano, which was quite nice, although he seemed to be playing from a '1960s romantic tunes' songbook. The buffet dinner was really good (better than the previous nights). We had really yum roast pork and fries, and then doughnuts with chocolate sauce and ice-cream for dessert. We had a fairly early night in preparation for our 6.15am pick-up by the tour company for our trip the following day.